This is the morning after Alex’s first dose of Strattera. So far, so good. He doesn’t seem to be moody just yet, although he hasn’t been awake all that long. We’re going to church in a little while, armed with his cue word, a sketch pad, and colored pencils.
Okay, so here is the breaking news – there is no way to turn me down that isn’t going to hurt my feelings. Completely ignoring me and acting like I never asked in the first place is NOT better than just saying no. I don’t know if it’s worse or not. It just all gets under my skin. No matter how you do it, it’s still rejection, and chances are, I’m still going to get hurt and angry. You can’t win. Giving in later doesn’t win you any points, either.
That is what I am. I’m incredibly resourceful. I found a basic outline of what I’ll need to do in my next position, and if I can take advantage of the the help that the techs in my lab are willing to offer, I will be a huge step ahead of the game. I’m going to try to pass on what I’m learning to one of the other people on my track. Imagine the shock of the people who are trying to train us when we already know what we need to know, plus, imagine our boss’s shock when we hand him our certification. That will kick BOOTAY.
Hmm. Horse or husband, horse or husband? I miss the company of both, obviously for different reasons.
So, seriously. I’m still pining over a friendship that gave up on me almost two years ago? Why does this still get to me? Why am I still a little bit of a stalker? It makes me feel pathetic. That I still look for whatever little snippets of information I can find. Just so I can know how she’s doing, what’s going on in her life. I’m heartbroken that she has no interest in the kids that called her “Aunt.” I knew she lost one of her pets, even before I read about it, and I feel bad for her because I know how much she loved him, and I miss her “furbabies.” I hope her parents and in-laws are okay, I think about them, too.
I’m thinking of taking a drive over to her mother’s house. Two Christmases in a row, I’ve opened my box of decorations to find the flying pig she gave me. It’s like being kicked in the chest every time. I’m pretty sure she said it came from her mom, so maybe it will be less traumatic to return it through her. Now that I say that, though, I’m more than half afraid that seeing her mother will put me in a similar state to what I was in last time I saw HER.
This isn’t fair.
I would love to know why I care at all anymore. And why I’m still letting it hurt me. Every time I think I’ve moved on, I look around at the people around me, and realize that I still haven’t let anyone in. I still have this horrible wall that I HATE, but I can’t seem to tear it down.
I guess it’s a good think I’m going to spend my work time in the lab, now. Being friendly is no longer a part of my job description. I just have to “get along.” Hurray for promotions.
Why is it that one would think that the other would be receptive immediately following repeated rejections?
I’m starting to think that maybe I should just go to work all the time. My family seems to care less whether or not I’m here unless they want something from me, Corey works all the time so why shouldn’t I, and I guess if I’m not really making friends, I could just devote my time to making money.
I screw everything up. I ruined my friendship with Christine. I make Corey mad every single day. I make my daughter rebel against applying for scholarship. My son lies to me about his homework all the time. Me sucks.
After more than 3 months of waiting, I finally got my first set of Invisalign trays. They’re not nearly as uncomfortable as I thought they would be. I didn’t really think about how anal I’d have to get about my oral hygiene, but that might even be a bonus. Also, since I do have to be so conscientious of it, I doubt I’ll be as given to snacking as I normally am. Also a bonus since I quit smoking a month ago, and don’t want to pack on as many pounds as I did last time.
My dentist even gave me a bleaching kit as a “way to go” present for quitting that I can use with my aligner trays.
After insurance and the discount for being my dentist’s guinae pig, they cost us $2960. It’s a lot of money, BUT, seriously less than what I’ve been seeing that others had to pay. Plus, I think it will be very much worth it in the long run. My dentist says that having my teeth more properly spaced will reduce any dental issues in the future. Besides, it’ll be nice to have two “good sides.”
I’m starting to really look forward to my dad moving out. I feel like I’ll finally be able to keep up on the house, at least the laundry, when I won’t have to worry about what time of the day it is that I do my housework. I’m also kind of looking forward to knowing when he’ll be there – I’ll be able to wander naked from my bedroom to the front bathroom again.
We’ve planned and paid for our trip to Indiana this summer. Both of us are looking forward to the adventure of being somewhere NEITHER of us has ever been and exploring it together. We’ve really missed Tom and Jamie, too, so it’ll be fun to hang out with our “game buddies.” I do have a feeling, though, that Corey is going to be slightly less than thrilled when he sees how small our plane from Salt Lake to Indianapolis is. Hmm… Oh well, he’s the one that wanted to go that cheap! LOL!
I wonder if Jennifer would be able to get away to come see us while we’re there. I’m not really sure which part of the state she lives in, although I’m pretty sure she’s way in the south near Kentucky.
I set our dates for travel for a couple weeks after Mercedes gets home from her trip. I’m sure it doesn’t make much difference, but it seems important to me that we’re at home while she’s on that trip. I feel like emergencies, big or small, will be much easier to deal with while I’m at home.